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Wednesday, 9 February 2011


nerves playing up alot today dont kno hy but they are...hate it, hate it, hate it, its the shaking i cant deal with...My frienad Kirsty is coming to see me so hopefully that makes me feel a little better..

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Good Day!

It's been a good day so far, got up made some phone calls...ran a lovely big bath n soaked ma bones.....The biggest thing and i know it doesn't sound much, i got ready and went to the shop!....wowwwww...I know its such a small thing but its a really big thing for me! I am Very Proud of myself! When you suffer from high anxiety the smallest things seem so difficult to do! Cant wait to tell Grant, hoe i dont sound like a total poof!
     Go team H...xxx....thts me by the way! . x

 Well made a beautiful tea the nite,,,if i could make love to myself i would , it was fuckin AWESOME!!!!!!!!!..Grants away to play football..hee hee...He will be Fecked when he gets in..lol...Atleast one of uz is trying to get healthy, canae wait for the 6pack...ooooooooooooo...mmmmmmmmm...ahhhhhhh!
 Back to me now im doing kl as feck got some nice calm tabs off the docs so all is good for just now..just going to sit and draw for a while...Forgot how good it is....like to make up my own pictures might put one on here and u can see wht u think..Mch love n happyness to all..xxx

Monday, 7 February 2011


Bit of a heavy day there, but im home now and Grants makin ma tea!.........mmmmmmmm...Korma!!!!! 
   Mental health team comin at u,, ahh well atleast iv took the first step. Its going to be along road ahead but bring the Fecker on!....So drain now tho, dont really know what my mind and body is feeling but im sure im ok..I have my Grant so i know im ok...god bless his beautiful soul!xx

Sunday, 6 February 2011

up early and its not because of my inzomnia

YEEEEHAAAAA!...up nice n early and i feel good....Had a right good sleep over the last few nites, much needed!....We will see what happens today from this moment to the next..just a nice slow pace for me, no stress.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

on the love boat! Nature is sooooo good.


Well here it goes. Never going to sleep today but i am safe n sound in ma own house so not too bad!..  
   I wrote a lot last nite in my little book., haven't done tht in a long time but it feels so good to get stuff out of ur head and onto paper. Think there is an eliment of song writing in them need to have a jam with my dad and see what we can do.....My head is always filled with songs and lyrics, i think its just now im starting to realise it more. It was common i was younger i used to make up song and sing them..I remember when i must of been about 6 or 7, i humm to sing this tune to my dad, then i started putting words to it.. About two mnths later my song came on the radio...It was the same tune all the way throw..My dad was like " Wit the fuck, u made tht tune b4 them Hen!"......The band was Crowed House!....Ill have to ask ma old man what the song was again...Get bk to u on tht one...much love to all.Hxxx

U kp me up all nite up all nite..........

well as iv said up aw feckin nite...was a good nite tho spend wth my grantos, a few things teasted uz. but! the big man will not thro at u wht he thinks u cant handle...its how to deal wth the here and now, one day at a time!
  funny old thing insomnia,,,it can awakin u wth thoughts u never knew u were capable of having....Im alot smarter than i thought i was....some people may laugh at tht, the ones who know me well enough..ccoz im like a kid at times wantin to carryon.....I cant spell to save my like i have ...mmmmmmmmmmm...how do u spell it?
Dyslexic...im Dyslexic , why the fuck do they give it a name u find really hard to spell when u canae!...
   well dont know wht i might do today maybe just veg out no stress...and cuddle my cats..x

Friday, 4 February 2011

Scottish hands tied...

what the fuck is goin on...im so full of love..and at the exact day i was in love so much there seems to be so many clouds in the way, Im being tested here i know i am....thats fine...! Bring it on!

 I just realy need him home ...now..not long to go ehh...when we can hold eachother and just be!